My Journey Home

My Life. Beautiful, Ugly, Unfiltered.

My Desire

Today as I was sitting rocking Astaire “nigh nigh”, I was thinking about how thankful I am that she is so cuddly and lovey. She still crawls in my lap and lays her head on my chest for some quiet time a few times throughout the day. She is totally rambunctious the rest of the time, but every once in a while, she gives me those few moments of peace and reflection to look at her growing feet and hands, twirl her hair, and admire who she is becoming.

Some have asked me when we will have another one. I will admit that we have talked about it. It is on our minds. However, I have to say, that for us– planning our family is everything. There are a few different reasons for this, but the main one is that I remember the strong desire that I had for a baby when we decided to get pregnant with Astaire. I remember crying when explaining it to Josh and how important it was for me that it happen SOON! There was an urgency in my spirit. God spoke to Josh and told him it was time, and we knew that even though it was before the time frame that we had agreed on– we were ready!

I had such a strong desire for Astaire, that I was so excited for each and every moment of my pregnancy, labor, and her childhood. I did and do spend time researching what is best for her, taking photos, making scrapbooks, and making sure that each day holds something special and fun. People say that when I have a second child I won’t have time to do all of that stuff, but I strongly disagree. It’s not so much about the time…it’s about the love and desire. I did all of this for her, because when she is a teenager and thinks that we don’t understand her, I want her to be able to look at all of this stuff and see just how much she was wanted. I want her to know that she was all we could think about every single day until the day and even after she arrived.

Although I want a larger family, I don’t have that strong desire yet. So we wait, because I will do this for all of my children, because they will deserve it. They will all be the desires of my heart, and they will all deserve the very best that I can give them. The research for their health, the special days, the photos, the scrapbooks, the videos. The love.

Astaire’s Special Video(Click to View)


2 responses to “My Desire

  1. Amanda December 4, 2010 at 10:27 am

    this is beautiful

  2. Lauren December 4, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Loved this Tayla-so sweet and all so well written! At the right time, God will bless you with another little one to love and spoil 🙂

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