My Life. Beautiful, Ugly, Unfiltered.
watch your mouth.
April 19, 2011Posted by on
There is currently a sweater that hangs in my closet that will never be worn again. Not because it has a hole, or is an ugly color, or even because I hate it– because I don’t. In fact, it quite possibly ranks in my top 5 favorite things to wear. I will never wear it again because the last time I tried to put it on my darling husband was standing in the bed room and said to me…
“Are you going to wear that?”
My reply “Yes, why?”
“It’s not my favorite, it kinda makes your head look big.”
This is not meant to throw him under the bus in any way, because it’s just a sweater. If you know Josh and I at all on a personal level, you know that we are 100 percent honest, 100 percent of the time. I know that he didn’t mean for that to hurt my feelings– and it didn’t really. It just kinda made me mad that I will never get to wear that cute little sweater again. Cause I don’t know about you, but I don’t really like to walk around with my head lookin’ like an orange on a toothpick.
The fact is- I have said far worse things to him. Things I don’t even want to use as an example. Things in the heat of the moment or an argument that just came out. And though I didn’t intentionally mean to tear him down, I did.
I’m sure you have done the same. Probably not in an argument or a fight, because Josh and I are the only two people who do that, but you have probably unintentionally torn someone down when you were just trying to help and maybe even be supportive.
Maybe you you heard someone was battling what seemed to them an insurmountable obstacle like a sickness and you said to them, “Well, we are just going to believe for your healing!”. Seems helpful and supportive right? Did they ask you to do that? Did you ask them what they were believing for? Or how you could help them pray? Or did you just assume that you had all the facts about their situation and knew exactly what they were facing and how they should handle it?
Relationships are God’s most precious gift to us, but they are messy because they require imperfect people to communicate with each other. Sometimes the best thing to do is to hold your words and just be there for someone, or to ask them how you can help. It’s not always about having the answers or being the smartest. By learning how to be truly supportive and lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, we will be the best friends, significant others, family members and parents we can be.