My Life. Beautiful, Ugly, Unfiltered.
Tag Archives: child development
June 11, 2011Posted by on
I am so lost. First of all, I feel like summer has killed my blog. Like it just snuck up on me like a vicious predator and zapped the life out of my writing abilities. All that aside however, I am stuck in potty training purgatory. When it has come to every other milestone, I feel like it just came naturally to me– I didn’t really need to read any books or manuals, I just knew how to proceed. But this, well this is so much different. I just have no idea what to do. I do, however have all the supplies.
I have googled until my eyes are about to pop out of my head. Some days Astaire is really willing to sit on the potty, other days she acts like there is a monster hiding in the thing. I’m not really wanting to clean up another mess like I had to on my carpet the other day (long and gross story…) and so here we are. I’m thinking, maybe she is not ready- but more like maybe I am not ready. I’ve heard the younger you start, the easier it is. And of course I’ve heard that they will just do it when they are ready (like 4?) who knows!!! No really, who of you know?
So I’m asking you…please comment. Give me your input, tell me your ways wise readers.
May 28, 2011Posted by on
I know I have mentioned (several times) my new found struggles with Astaire and her tantrums….but I have a happy update today! We are making some progress. I have found over the past several days and trips out, that if I set her up for what we are about to do, and clearly state my expectations, we are all much happier and she does so well!
An example of what I might say would go something like this as we are walking in to the store, church, or even a playdate:
“Astaire, we are going to go in to __________ now. Mama expects you to be a good girl, be obedient and (sit in the cart/go to your class and play with your friends/share your toys) without getting upset. If you don’t, you will get a time-out, do you understand? (she will say yes) You are such a big girl, and you are going to a great job!”
We go in, and sometimes she needs a little reminding—but a reminder is usually all she needs. We have had several successful trips this week, including one to the zoo! She did absolutely wonderful all day, with zero meltdowns and she even got to feed a giraffe right out of her hand….TWICE!
May 18, 2011Posted by on
I feel guilty that I haven’t really blogged in quite a few days, but to be honest I’m a little overwhelmed with all that is going on in real life lately. Astaire seems to be “maturing” at a rapid rate and has gone full throttle this week into what I can only assume is the terrible twos. Granted she is only 20 months this week, but even as I’m typing now, she is refusing to go down for a nap and singing loudly over the monitor while banging on the walls of her room. She isn’t throwing a tantrum by any means…right now… but that has not been the case for the past few weeks. It seems like every day, something I do or don’t do throws her into a full blown rage of what can only be observed as frustration. She bangs her head off of walls, furniture and even the tile floor. If I try to console her or calm her down, it only makes matters worse.
I can only imagine what it must be like for her, constantly being told she’s a big girl, given choices, and then choices being taken away. Being told no 500 times a day. It has to be confusing. I’m sure that I am not always clear and concise and I know that I probably give her one direction and then change that direction mid thought half of the time. That would be frustrating to anyone- especially a toddler, who can’t verbalize everything yet. So I’m trying to be patient. trying, trying, trying.
At home we do well. It’s in public that I just cannot deal with a tantrum- It sends me spinning into frazzle mode, because I can feel all the other
mother’s women’s eyes piercing me in the back with judgment. I can tell that people judge me for trying to console her, and then judge me for sitting her on the floor of the garbage bag aisle for time-out: Right in the middle of Target. I can hear their thoughts “If that were my child, I’d……”
The truth is, that’s fine…because I’ve probably thought the same thing. But once you become a parent, you realize— you can parent them, and teach them and discipline them…and sometimes they just do things that are beyond your control. Sometimes, your son is just gonna bite that kid on the playground even though he knows better. One day, your daughter may scream and tell you off right in the middle of a dinner party because you told her she can’t go out with those friends….even though you have taught her to respect her parents.
The truth is, they are our children…not puppets. We can train them and teach them, but they are still human– they will still make mistakes. It’s how we respond to them when they make mistakes that matters, and will teach them even more.
I just pray I can continue to respond with love and patience, all the while remaining firm and setting my expectations. Children need boundaries, but they also need grace…. don’t we all?
“Don’t let sin keep ruling your lives. You are ruled by God’s grace and not by the Law. “- Romans 6:14